apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize