Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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