You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
