I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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