Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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