I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
