I am puke
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
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that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
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No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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