i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
They have beer where we have blood.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
