My boss' voice literally gives me gas
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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