just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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