i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
