Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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