So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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