I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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