I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Damn victory sex feels great
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
