And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize