i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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