Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
