one might say we're banned from that church
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
