The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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