You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
