i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
