Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
