We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
