Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
please come you make the beer taste better
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
