i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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