So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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