booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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