when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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