names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
