dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
well you can't waste a boner
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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