YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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