So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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