Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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