So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
