wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
