Got a toothbrush?
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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