Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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