i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
