no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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