My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He better not be in your backpack
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Randomize