WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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