Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
