Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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