I want to stick my p in your. b.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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