also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
