Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
