She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
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