Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Send help, water and tortillas.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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