I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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