just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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