You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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