your parents love me but you hate me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
