Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
