Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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