the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
