i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Drake has all the answers
I licked your asshole in confidence.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
