Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
