i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
