Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I want her autograph on my taint
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
