fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
