Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
