Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize