He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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