...so i touched it.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
