I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
