Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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