Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
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Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.