wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.